Supporting Your Child's Behaviour
Parenting can be incredibly rewarding—and incredibly challenging. Many families tell us they feel overwhelmed, unsure what works, or worn down by daily struggles.
You are not alone.
At school, we believe children do well when they can—and when things feel difficult, it’s a sign they need support, understanding, and clear guidance.
Our aim is to work with you, not judge you.
A Warm–Firm Approach
Children thrive when they experience both:
- Warmth (feeling safe, understood, loved)
- Firmness (clear boundaries, consistency, predictability)
You don’t need to win every battle—but children do need some non-negotiables. This is the ethos that our behaviour curriculum is based around in school.
✔ Pick your battles
Not everything has to be a conflict. Focus on what matters most, like:
- Safety
- Respect
- Kindness
- Key routines (sleep, school attendance)
You may need to let some smaller things go where you can.
🧠 A Neuro‑Affirming Approach
Some children experience the world differently. This includes children who are:
- Autistic
- ADHD
- Sensory-sensitive
- Anxious
Behaviour is often a form of communication, not “naughtiness”.
Instead of asking: ❌ “What’s wrong with my child?”
Try asking: ✅ “What is my child telling me through their behaviour?”
Things to remember:
- Big reactions often come from overwhelm, not defiance
- Transitions (e.g. leaving the house, bedtime) can be especially difficult
- Some children need more preparation, not more discipline
- Regulation comes before reasoning—support calm first, then talk
Practical Strategies That Help
✅ Keep boundaries simple and clear
- Say what you do want: “Walk please” (rather than “Don’t run”)
- Use consistent language
- Follow through calmly
✅ Use routines
Children feel safer when things are predictable:
- Morning routines
- Bedtime routines
- After-school wind-down time
Visual timetables or charts can really help.
✅ Stay calm (even when it’s hard)
Your child borrows your calm when they can’t find their own.
It’s okay to pause, breathe, and reset.
✅ Notice the positives
Catch your child doing something right:
- “I noticed how you tried again—that was brilliant”
- “You calmed yourself down—well done”
Positive attention builds confidence and reduces challenging behaviour over time.
✅ Repair after difficult moments
All families have tough moments. What matters is what comes next:
- Reconnect
- Keep it simple
- Move forward
When Behaviour Feels Very Difficult
If things feel unmanageable, please reach out. You do not need to cope alone.
Your first steps:
- Speak to your child’s teacher
- Contact the school’s SEND team
- Ask for support—we are here to help
🔗 Further Support for Behaviour
🟢 Wiltshire Support
- Wiltshire Family Hub / Early Help
https://www.wiltshire.gov.uk/family-hubs - Wiltshire Local Offer (SEND support)
https://localoffer.wiltshire.gov.uk - Wiltshire Parent Carer Council
https://www.wiltshireparentcarercouncil.co.uk
🟢 National Support
- NSPCC Parenting Advice
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/ - YoungMinds (Parent Helpline)
https://www.youngminds.org.uk
📞 0808 802 5544 - Family Lives (Parenting support)
https://www.familylives.org.uk
📞 0808 800 2222 - Contact (for families with additional needs)
https://contact.org.uk - ADHD UK
https://www.adhduk.co.uk